Navigating college has not been an easy experience for me to say the least. It was not until my senior year that I decided I wanted to major in African-American studies. Thankfully I took an African American studies course every semester which allowed me to complete both my major and minor in the remaining two semesters. Despite being finished with my required classes, I still needed to meet the 120-hour requirement that UNC has. I went back and forth with myself on how I wanted to spend my last semester in college. Then I learned about the Highlands Biological Station and decided to apply. While I have taken multiple environmental science/studies classes, I still felt slightly anxious. I am interested in the subject matter but I do not feel like a scientist by any means, and I knew I would be pushed in unexpected ways.
We are entering our third week on the fieldsite and my assumptions about being pushed in new ways have been realized. Physically, socially, and academically, I have been pushed outside of my comfort zone. This semester, one of the projects I am doing includes research on small mammals. My research partner, Danielle, and I have to set traps around campus and collect data on the animals. In our first meeting with our mentors, Danielle asked about the likelihood that animals would get used to being trapped and stop going for the food. Our mentor responded saying, “The animals are trap happy,” and they will continue to return to the traps for the food even knowing they will be trapped.
The lessons I gain from the environment have always come easily. The embodied knowledge that I am connected to all things as they are connected to me. The behaviors of the small mammals mirror my own behaviors. In what ways have I become “trap happy”? When does the incentive of pleasure and temporary comfort outweigh my personal freedom, and why do I choose the trap? I should not remain in environments that feel pleasurable and/or comfortable that impede my growth which is deeply connected to my freedom. Since being in Highlands there are bad habits that I have stopped simply because the trap has been removed. Despite my discomfort here at times, it would be remiss of me not to acknowledge the ways I have grown and changed in this short amount of time. I've carried so many misconceptions about myself that have been shattered and I am learning more about my own capabilities.
During our first field trip, we did an 8-mile hike, and in my mind, I thought it would be a slight challenge, but it was more than a “slight” challenge. Between the terrain, the heat, and my body, I was fighting for my life. I was praying the entire time; I was so thankful some other people needed to go a little slower along the trail. Even moving slower was still so hard. I tried doing 12-3-30 (12 incline, 3 mph, 30 minutes on the treadmill) at the gym before I came here, but I should have been more consistent. Nonetheless, I made it and the joy of completing the challenge outweighed all the difficulty I faced. It felt so nice to say I did it. It felt even better to get in the creek afterwards and allow my body to relax. Surrounded by the beauty of the Smokies, it was hard for me to sulk. While I struggled, I still felt so happy not to be trapped.